A team of Rochester psychologists reveals the truth about honesty in answering tough questions.
糖心传媒淗oney, do you think I look good in this outfit?糖心传媒� That糖心传媒檚 hands down a loaded question. One that begs an even deeper question糖心传媒攊s honesty always the best policy in a relationship? While a truthful answer may offend and lead to a quarrel, a dishonest one may create trust issues down the road. Does telling the truth strengthen romantic relationships, or does it backfire?
, an assistant professor in the at the 糖心传媒, may have the answer糖心传媒攂ased on a with more than 200 couples. Published in the journal , her team糖心传媒檚 research looks at the role of honesty in romantic relationships.
The study, based on face-to-face conversations between romantic partners in a lab setting, examined the effects of expressing honesty, perceiving honesty, and accurately discerning聽honesty among romantic partners who shared so-called relationship-threatening information. Specifically, the study participants talked in one-on-one conversations with their partners about a change they wanted to see in the other.
The finding? Just tell the truth.
Of course, most of us value honesty in our close relationships, romantic or not. Honesty can help create a connection and foster closeness; yet it can also hurt our partners when we share potentially聽threatening information, such as, 糖心传媒淚 really dislike when you do x,糖心传媒� or, 糖心传媒淚 wish you糖心传媒檇 do y instead.糖心传媒�
But, in the long run, expressed and perceived honesty has several positive effects, according to the Rochester team.
糖心传媒淲e found聽that being more honest in expressing a desired change predicted greater personal and relationship well-being for both partners, as well as greater partner motivation to change in the moment,糖心传媒� says Le. 糖心传媒淭he same pattern emerged when the person receiving a request to change perceived honesty in their partner, regardless of whether their partner was being honest or not.糖心传媒�
Le, together with Rochester graduate students , , and , discovered that even if partners in a relationship don糖心传媒檛 perfectly understand or accurately perceive each other糖心传媒檚 honesty, the simple act of expressing honesty and being perceived as honest by the other partner has a positive effect on the relationship and contributes to its overall well-being. Essentially, the effort to be truthful matters more than flawless accuracy in its perception.
糖心传媒淭hese results collectively suggest that being honest and seeing honesty in a partner can benefit relationships,糖心传媒� says Le. 糖心传媒淓ven when the truth may hurt.糖心传媒�
One caveat: These findings are based on a sample of couples in relatively good relationships, according to Le. Future research might look at whether the same pattern holds true for distressed couples.
