“Un Amor” by Sara Mesa and Katie Whittemore [Excerpt]
Today’s #WITMonth post is an except from Un Amor聽by Sara Mesa and Katie Whittemore, coming out in October. This was the “book of the year” in Spain when it came out in 2o20, and was praised to the skies by all the major Spanish newspapers and media outlets. There’s even a coming out this fall directed by Isabel Coixet.聽
Here’s the jacket copy:
Subtly in the vein of聽Dogville聽or Coetzee糖心传媒檚聽Disgrace, and invoking the works of Agota Kristof,聽Un Amor聽probes ideas of language, alienation, and community through the eyes of a woman who, when brought into conflict, finds herself on the potential brink of deeper awareness of herself and her place in the world.
On the heels of a cryptic mistake, Nat arrives in La Escapa, an arid rural village in Spain糖心传媒檚 interior. She settles into a small, shabby house with cheap rent to begin work on her first literary translation, with a skittish and ill-tempered dog糖心传媒攁 gift from the boorish landlord糖心传媒攈er only company.
Burdened with assumptions about country life, Nat will enter into relationships with the handful of local inhabitants糖心传媒攈er negligent landlord, P铆ter the hippie, the dementia-afflicted Roberta, the young city family who comes on weekends, the unsociable man they call 糖心传媒淭he German糖心传媒澨切拇綌from whom she appears to receive a customary welcome.
Mutual misunderstanding and a persistent sense of alienation, however, thrum below the surface. And when conflicts arise over repairs to the house, Nat receives an offer and makes a crucial decision.
In prose as taut and oppressive as the atmosphere in La Escapa,聽Un Amor聽extends Mesa糖心传媒檚 exploration of language and power, confronting readers with the limits of their own morality as tensions mount and the community糖心传媒檚 most unexpected impulses emerge.
This book糖心传媒攍ike so many of Mesa’s糖心传媒攊s a slow burn, with tension increasing with every event, every turn of the page. The except below is from the first section of the book, setting the scene, introducing a few key characters, and creating the atmosphere of this part of rural Spain. Enjoy!
Un Amor is available for preorder from better bookstores everywhere, our , , or
She糖心传媒檇 be hard pressed to come up with a convincing answer if asked to explain what she was doing there. That糖心传媒檚 why she hedges when the time comes, babbling about a change of scenery.
糖心传媒淧eople must think you糖心传媒檙e crazy, right?糖心传媒�
The cashier smacks gum as she piles Nat糖心传媒檚 shopping on the counter. It糖心传媒檚 the only store in a few-mile radius, an unmarked establishment where foodstuffs and hygiene products accumulate in a jumble. Shopping there is expensive and the pickings are slim, but Nat is reluctant to take the car to Petacas. She rummages in her wallet and counts out the bills she needs.
The girl from the shop is in a chatty mood. Brazen, she asks Nat all about her life, flustering her. The girl wishes she could do what Nat糖心传媒檚 done, but the opposite, she says. Move to C谩rdenas, where stuff actually happens.
糖心传媒淟iving here sucks. There aren糖心传媒檛 even any guys!糖心传媒�
She tells Nat that she used to go to high school in Petacas, but she dropped out. She doesn糖心传媒檛 like studying, she糖心传媒檚 crap at every subject. Now she helps out in the shop. Her mom gets chronic migraines, and her dad also does some farming, so she lends a hand at the store. But as soon as she turns eighteen, she糖心传媒檚 out of there. She could be a cashier in C谩rdenas, or a nanny. She糖心传媒檚 good with kids. The few kids who ever make it to La Escapa, she smiles.
糖心传媒淭his place sucks,糖心传媒� she repeats.
It糖心传媒檚 the girl who tells Nat about the people living in the surrounding houses and farms. She tells her about the gypsy family squatting in a dilapidated farmhouse, right near the ramp for the highway. A bus picks up the kids every morning; they糖心传媒檙e the only kids who live in La Escapa year-round. And there糖心传媒檚 the old couple in the yellow house. The woman is some kind of witch, the girl claims. She can predict the future and read your mind.
糖心传媒淪he糖心传媒檚 a little crazy, so it糖心传媒檚 creepy,糖心传媒� the girl laughs.
She tells Nat about the hippie in the wooden house, and the guy they call 糖心传媒淭he German糖心传媒� even though he isn糖心传媒檛 from Germany, and Gordo糖心传媒檚 bar糖心传媒攖hough to call the storehouse where they serve up bottles of beer a bar is, she admits, a bit of an exaggeration. There are other people who come and go according to the rhythms of the countryside, dayworkers hired for two-week stints or just the day, but also whole families who have inherited houses they can糖心传媒檛 manage to sell and who live somewhere else half the year. But you never see women on their own. Not women Nat糖心传媒檚 age, she specifies.
糖心传媒淥ld ladies don糖心传媒檛 count.糖心传媒�
During the first days, Nat gets confused and mixes up all that information, partly because she糖心传媒檇 listened absently, partly because she糖心传媒檚 in unfamiliar territory. La Escapa糖心传媒檚 borders are blurry, and even though there is a relatively compact cluster of small houses糖心传媒攚here hers is located糖心传媒攐ther buildings are scattered farther off, some inhabited and others not. From the outside, Nat can糖心传媒檛 tell whether they糖心传媒檙e homes or barns, if there are people inside or just livestock. She loses her bearings on the dirt roads and if it weren糖心传媒檛 for the shop糖心传媒攚hich sometimes feels more familiar to her than the house she糖心传媒檚 rented and slept in for a week糖心传媒攁s a point of reference, she糖心传媒檇 feel lost. The area isn糖心传媒檛 even very pretty, although at sunset, when the edges soften and the light turns golden, she finds a kind of beauty she can cling to.
Nat takes her grocery bags and says goodbye to the girl. But before she exits the shop, she turns back and asks about the landlord. Does the girl know him? The girl purses her lips, shakes her head slowly. No, not really, she says. He糖心传媒檚 lived in Petacas for a long time.
糖心传媒淏ut I do remember seeing him around here when I was little. He always had a pack of dogs and a really bad temper. Then he got married, or got together with someone, and left. I guess his wife didn糖心传媒檛 want to live in La Escapa糖心传媒攃an糖心传媒檛 blame her. This place is worse for girls. Even though Petacas is nothing special糖心传媒擨 wouldn糖心传媒檛 want to live there either, no way.糖心传媒�
*

Sara Mesa
She tries to play with the dog, tossing him an old ball she found in the woodpile. But instead of catching it and bringing it back, the dog limps away. When she crouches down next to him, putting herself on his level so he won糖心传媒檛 be afraid, he skulks off with his tail between his legs. The dog is a piece of work, she thinks, a real rotter. Sieso, they糖心传媒檇 call him in the part of Spain she comes from. It seems a good a name as any糖心传媒攁fter all, she has to call him something. It certainly describes his surly nature. But Sieso is as inscrutable as he is unsociable. He hangs around, but it糖心传媒檚 like he wasn糖心传媒檛 there at all. Why should she have to settle for a dog like that? Even the little dog in the shop, an extremely anxious Chihuahua mix, is much nicer. All the dogs she meets on the roads糖心传媒攁nd there are tons of them糖心传媒攔un over when she calls. A lot of them are looking to be fed, of course, but also to be pet; they are nosy and curious, wanting to know who this new girl in the neighborhood is. Sieso doesn糖心传媒檛 even seem interested in eating. If she feeds him, great, and if not, that糖心传媒檚 fine too. The landlord wasn糖心传媒檛 kidding: the animal糖心传媒檚 upkeep is cheap. Sometimes Nat is ashamed of the aversion she feels toward the animal. She asked for a dog and here he is. Now she cannot糖心传媒攎ust not糖心传媒攕ay糖心传媒攐r even think糖心传媒攖hat she doesn糖心传媒檛 want him.
One morning at the shop, she meets the hippie, as the girl called him. Now she languidly waits on them both, smoking a cigarette with no sense of urgency. The hippie is a little older than Nat, though he can糖心传媒檛 be more than forty. Tall and strong, his skin is weathered by the sun, his hands broad and cracked, his eyes hard but placid. He wears his hair long in a terrible cut and his beard is on the reddish side. Why the girl calls him 糖心传媒渉ippie糖心传媒� is something Nat can only guess. Maybe it糖心传媒檚 his long hair or because he is someone who, like Nat, comes from the city, a stranger, something incomprehensible for anyone who has lived in La Escapa since childhood and can only think of getting away. The truth is, the hippie has lived there a long time. He is, therefore, nothing novel, not like Nat. She observes him from the corner of her eye, his efficient movements, concise and confident. As she waits her turn, she pats the back of the dog he has brought with him. She糖心传媒檚 a chocolate Labrador, old but undeniably elegant. The dog wags her tail and noses Nat糖心传媒檚 crotch. The three of them laugh.
糖心传媒淲hat a good girl,糖心传媒� Nat says.
The hippie nods and holds out his hand. Then he changes his mind, withdraws it and moves in to kiss her. Just one kiss on the cheek, which causes Nat to remain with her face tilted, waiting for the second kiss that doesn糖心传媒檛 come. He tells her his name: P铆ter. With an i, he specifies: P-铆-t-e-r. At least that糖心传媒檚 how he likes to spell it, except when he糖心传媒檚 forced to write it officially. The less one writes one糖心传媒檚 real name, the better, he jokes. It糖心传媒檚 only good for signing checks at the bank, for those thieves.
糖心传媒淣atalia,糖心传媒� she introduces herself.
Then comes the obligatory question: what is she doing in La Escapa? He糖心传媒檚 seen her out on the trails and also saw her tidying up the area around the house. Is she going to live there? Alone? Nat feels awkward. She would prefer that nobody watch her while she works, especially without her knowledge, which is inevitable because the boundaries of the property are marked only by fine wire mesh, denuded of vegetation. She tells him she糖心传媒檚 only staying a couple of months.
糖心传媒淚糖心传媒檝e seen the dog, too. You got him here, right?糖心传媒�
糖心传媒淗ow do you know?糖心传媒�
P铆ter confesses that he knows the animal. One of the landlord糖心传媒檚 many. That dog, in fact, is probably the worst of the lot. Her landlord will pick them up wherever, doesn糖心传媒檛 train them, doesn糖心传媒檛 vaccinate them, doesn糖心传媒檛 care for them in the slightest. He uses, then abandons, them. Did she ask for the dog? She can be sure the landlord has given her the most useless one he had.
Nat considers this and the man suggests she give the dog back. There糖心传媒檚 no reason to settle if he isn糖心传媒檛 what she wanted. The landlord isn糖心传媒檛 a good guy, he says, she糖心传媒檚 better off keeping her distance. He doesn糖心传媒檛 like to speak badly of anyone, he insists, but the landlord is another matter. Always thinking about how to scam people.
糖心传媒淚 can get you a dog if you want.糖心传媒�
The conversation leaves Nat uneasy. Sitting on her doorstep with a lukewarm bottle of beer糖心传媒攖he fridge, too, is on the fritz糖心传媒攕he watches Sieso sleeping beside the fence, stretched out in the sunshine. The flies loiter on his slightly swollen belly, where the marks of old wounds are visible.
The thought of returning him is deeply unsettling.
*

Katie Whittemore
She is surprised by the activity in Petacas. It takes her a while to find parking; the layout of the roads is so chaotic and the signage so contradictory that once you enter the town, an unexpected detour can easily take you right out of it again. The houses are modest, their fa莽ades worse for the wear and mostly plain, but there are brick buildings, too, up to six stories tall, distributed arbitrarily here and there. The businesses are clustered around the main square; the town hall糖心传媒攁n ostentatious building with large eaves and stained-glass windows糖心传媒攊s surrounded by small bars and Chinese-owned bazaars. Nat buys a small fan at one of them. Then she wanders in search of a hardware store, reluctant to ask for directions. She is struck by the neglected appearance of the women, who have left the house with unkempt hair and slip-on sandals. Many of the men糖心传媒攅ven the old ones糖心传媒攁re in sleeveless shirts. The few children she sees are unsupervised, licking popsicles, scampering, rolling on the ground. The people糖心传媒攎en, women, kids糖心传媒攁ll of whom are loud and sloppy, look strangely alike. Inbreeding, Nat thinks. Her landlord is a perfect fit.
She worries about running into him, but it糖心传媒檚 P铆ter, not the landlord, whom she meets in the hardware store. She is happy to see him: someone she knows, someone friendly, someone smiling at her at last, coming over, what are you doing here, he asks. Nat shows him the box with the fan and he scowls. Why didn糖心传媒檛 she ask the landlord? It糖心传媒檚 his responsibility to keep the property in habitable condition. Not air conditioning, obviously, but a fan at least.
糖心传媒淥r you could have asked me. That糖心传媒檚 what neighbors are for.糖心传媒�
Nat looks for an excuse. She糖心传媒檚 happy to buy one, she says. She糖心传媒檒l take it with her when she leaves La Escape. P铆ter looks at her askance, pretending not to believe her.
糖心传媒淎nd what are you buying here? Tools to fix everything he left broken?糖心传媒�
Nat shakes her head.
糖心传媒淣o. Stuff for the garden.糖心传媒�
糖心传媒淵ou糖心传媒檙e planting a garden?糖心传媒�
糖心传媒淲ell, just something basic . . . Peppers and eggplants, they糖心传媒檙e easy, I guess. I want to try, at least.糖心传媒�
P铆ter takes her by the arm, steps closer.
糖心传媒淒on糖心传媒檛 buy anything,糖心传媒� he whispers.
He tells her that he can lend her all the tools she needs. He says, too, that she might as well forget about a garden. Nothing糖心传媒檚 grown on her land in years; the soil is totally depleted; it would take days and days of hard work to get it into shape. If she insists糖心传媒擭at hangs on that word, insists糖心传媒攈e could lend her a hand, but he absolutely advises against it. Although he speaks smoothly, P铆ter糖心传媒檚 voice contains indisputable sureness, an expert糖心传媒檚 confidence. Nat nods, waits for him to finish his shopping. Cables, adaptors, screws, a pair of pliers: all very professional, very specific, nothing at all like the indefiniteness in which she operates.
Outside, P铆ter walks beside her at an athletic pace, straight but flexible. His way of moving is so elegant, so different from the people around them, that Nat is proud to be walking next to him, the sort of pride associated with feeling legitimate. The spell breaks when he points to the windows at the town hall.
糖心传媒淧retty, aren糖心传媒檛 they? I made them.糖心传媒�
Nat thinks the windows clash terribly with the building糖心传媒檚 exposed brick, but she is all praise: they suit it perfectly, she says. P铆ter looks at her appreciatively. Precisely, he says, that糖心传媒檚 what he seeks, for his work to befit its context.
糖心传媒淧etacas isn糖心传媒檛 the nicest place in the world, but糖心传媒攖o the extent possible糖心传媒攐ne should strive to beautify one糖心传媒檚 surroundings, don糖心传媒檛 you think?糖心传媒�
糖心传媒淪o, you糖心传媒檙e a . . .糖心传媒� Nat doesn糖心传媒檛 know what you call a person who makes stained-glass windows.
糖心传媒淎 glazier? Yes. Well, more than a glazier. A glass and color artisan, you might say. Like, I don糖心传媒檛 just cover windows.糖心传媒�
糖心传媒淥f course.糖心传媒� Nat smiles.
They have a beer in one of the bars on the square. The beer is ice-cold and goes down easy. P铆ter observes her closely糖心传媒攖oo closely, she thinks糖心传媒攂ut his eyes are sweet and that softens her discomfort. The conversation returns to the landlord糖心传媒攖hat cheeky bastard, he repeats糖心传媒攖he tools and her barren plot. He insists on lending her what she needs. Just a matter of tidying the yard, clearing space for a table and some lawn chairs, then planting a few oleander and yucca, or some succulents suitable for the harsh climate. There糖心传媒檚 a huge nursery near Petacas, very cheap. If she wants, one day they can go together. It seems her plans for a vegetable garden have been scrapped. She doesn糖心传媒檛 mention them again.
Again Un Amor is available for preorder from better bookstores everywhere, our , , or

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