Bosnia & Herzegovina vs. Iran [World Cup of Literature: First Round]
This match was judged by Hal Hlavinka. For more info on the World Cup of Literature, read this, and download the bracket.
糖心传媒淲elcome on this glorious summer evening to another match in the 2014 World Cup of Literature! We糖心传媒檙e here in beautiful Brazil, where Bosnia and Herzegovina faces off against Iran. I糖心传媒檓 Chaz Flippo, here with the lovely Cindy Mignon on point to call the match for readers tonight.糖心传媒 糖心传媒淭hat糖心传媒檚 right Chaz, we糖心传媒檒l be taking you through the pregame here momentarily as both countries get ready to square off with their strongest recent books: Sa拧a Stani拧i膰糖心传媒檚 How the Soldier Repairs the Gramophone for Bosnia and Mahmoud Dowlatabadi糖心传媒檚 The Colonel for Iran.糖心传媒 糖心传媒淭he books are in the tunnel now, getting their covers糖心传媒 straight, stretching those sentences and phrases and prepping for any and all narrative turns.糖心传媒 糖心传媒淐haz, what would you say is the goal for each team in this matchup today?糖心传媒 糖心传媒淲ell, to put it bluntly, Cindy: goals! Ha ha!糖心传媒 糖心传媒淗a ha! Indeed, Chaz, and when you get one strong chapter to the back of the net it only takes another to really help conclude the whole thing.糖心传媒 糖心传媒淭hat糖心传媒檚 right Cindy, the key will be control, pacing, and, if we糖心传媒檙e lucky, a little twist thrown in for good measure.糖心传媒 糖心传媒淚糖心传媒檝e heard that the Iranian book has a particularly nasty little turn set up for the start of the match, with the Colonel糖心传媒檚 wife getting executed by his own糖心传媒斕切拇綕 糖心传媒淭ut tut, Cindy! We don糖心传媒檛 want to get ahead of our readers here. That would be like jumping to the Bosnian war section of How the Soldier, where Aleksandar deliberately changes the name of糖心传媒斕切拇綕 糖心传媒淐haz, please! Look at us here, giving all the spoilers away.糖心传媒 糖心传媒淲e糖心传媒檒l be more careful, dear readers! It糖心传媒檚 a wonderful day for a match, the field glowing green under the hot jungle sun, beating down on your head like you just spent all night in the jungle talking to god!糖心传媒 糖心传媒淭hat糖心传媒檚, uhmm, that糖心传媒檚 right, Chaz!糖心传媒淎nd here come the books now! The Colonel is hand in hand with the youth escorts.糖心传媒 糖心传媒淢y are those some spritely future football players accompanying The Colonel.糖心传媒 糖心传媒淵es yes, to be sure, but I have to admit to you, Cindy, the Iranian looks a little old for this match糖心传媒攋ust a little too wrinkled walking out there hand in hand with the children.糖心传媒 糖心传媒淭here was some talk in the WCoL糖心传媒檚 Governing Powers about the The Colonel糖心传媒檚 age, but apparently it slipped right through. One wonders, with these things, how much of this might have to do with a briefcase or two.糖心传媒 糖心传媒淭ut tut, my girl, let糖心传媒檚 not jump to any conclusions. Conclusions make the head pound, and, to be frank, I had quite a long night last night. You see, I had something of and adven糖心传媒斕切拇綕 糖心传媒淣ot now, Chaz, not right during coverage.糖心传媒 糖心传媒淥h and how marvelous! Here comes How the Soldier, walking tall and proud as ever. You know, this Bosnian book really might have what it takes to make it deep into the later rounds. It has the playfulness, the rigor, the complexity to really mix things up here tonight and come out ahead.糖心传媒 糖心传媒淚f it can manage to handle The Colonel糖心传媒檚 dense, elliptical style, well, sure, but I wouldn糖心传媒檛 count on it. The Iranians are lucky enough to be represented by a book that was banned in their own country, so you can imagine what a feat of writing it must be.糖心传媒 糖心传媒淚t糖心传媒檚 a dark book, to be sure, but one wonders, watching it warm up before the match, if it糖心传媒檚 perhaps a little too relentless, a little too brooding. But really, last night was the most marvelous night of all my years.糖心传媒 糖心传媒淒on糖心传媒檛 you think it can wait?糖心传媒 糖心传媒淭ut tut, Cindy! Always business first! Oh, and would you look at that! One of the Bosnian escorts is doing pirouettes right there on the pitch! How fun!糖心传媒 糖心传媒淗e糖心传媒檚 all hands and feet, isn糖心传媒檛 he Chaz? All hands and feet, that one. My what a lovely cultural moment this all is. That糖心传媒檚 really the only way you can put it, a lovely cultural moment.糖心传媒 糖心传媒淐indy, I糖心传媒檝e been milling around the stadiums, and I糖心传媒檝e seen the beaches and the beautiful people and the architecture and all that糖心传媒檚 peachy, but last night I saw something more.糖心传媒 糖心传媒淵es, let糖心传媒檚 just say peachy and end it there, Chaz.糖心传媒 糖心传媒淚糖心传媒檝e taken to spending lots of time outside the heavily guarded, fenced off areas of the cities, and Cindy, let me tell you about a friend I made last night named Mr. Huasca.糖心传媒 糖心传媒淐haz I don糖心传媒檛 think that糖心传媒檚 very appropriate for our readers.糖心传媒 糖心传媒淣o no, that糖心传媒檚 alright, everything is alright now. It was all like the dream of the breath from a god playing a flute.糖心传媒 糖心传媒. . .糖心传媒 糖心传媒淚 awoke this morning with birds all a flutter in my head, deep in the jungle, ready for the game, and ready to tell my story.糖心传媒 糖心传媒淲ell we糖心传媒檙e just a few minutes away from kicking off the next exciting match in the World Cup of Literature, and糖心传媒斕切拇綕 糖心传媒淎nd, if you糖心传媒檇 excuse me for one moment, I can tell you what it feels like to squirm around in football糖心传媒檚 primordial soup.糖心传媒 糖心传媒淐haz, please, not ag糖心传媒斕切拇綔 糖心传媒淣o no no, it糖心传媒檚 alright, it糖心传媒檚 alright, it糖心传媒檚 topical. You see, I was staying over at my grandparents house, the ones that grew up right around Kent糖心传媒攖his was, say, forty years ago, in the vision of course糖心传媒攁nd, and this is all in my head, you see, because my grandma and papa are long since dead, but here I found myself, lying on my back under their kitchen table watching all of their feet stir by, their loafers and slippers speeding past, keeping to the rhythm of the music coming from the gramophone, the kind you hear in a dream, sleigh bells and clarinets and French horns糖心传媒攐h yes, the French horns!糖心传媒攆illing up the space like a vapor, my grandparent糖心传媒檚 making laps around the糖心传媒斕切拇綕 糖心传媒淐haz, I really thi糖心传媒斕切拇綕 糖心传媒渒itchen shuttling plates from counter to counter, and I can hear my parents in the other room drinking cocktails with my auntie and uncle, prattling on about my marks糖心传媒攐r lack thereof ha ha!糖心传媒攊n voices that seem almost to well up from inside my own head and pop out and around a little hale from ear to ear and then slip right back inside, breaking apart into a million pieces, these voices, and out of nowhere糖心传媒攁nd this was really out of nowhere, you see, like out of some void right there at the room糖心传媒檚 edge糖心传媒攃omes a giant black dog, skulking low and sniffing糖心传媒斕切拇綕 糖心传媒淚t糖心传媒檚 really not appro糖心传媒斕切拇綕 糖心传媒渁t every surface, pushing his giant maw under every shoe, every chair, the table cloth, the placemats, everything, coming closer and closer, the size of a pony, smelling of meat and sweat and garbage, and he糖心传媒檚 coming closer and closer, pushing the chairs out the way now to put his giant nose right in front of me, right over my head, and then he糖心传媒檚 opening his mouth, he糖心传媒檚 baring his teeth, his tongue dangling loosely over my hair like the floppy flaps in a car wash, and I hear a rumbling coming from the pit of his stomach, and then a heaving, a heavy, hollow, heaving pushing right up out of from his belly and through his chest, and my hands are bound by my sides with some invisible force糖心传媒擨 was a worm, in fact, my hands and feet were no longer separate dangles but all one body, one worm-body, so I糖心传媒檓 totally helpless beneath this table, this music, these people, this dog, and just as I糖心传媒檓 sure he糖心传媒檚 going to vomit all over my head, what comes out of his mouth, but a giant football. And I knew right then and there just what I had to糖心传媒斕切拇綕 糖心传媒淐HAZ! Chaz, listen to me here. Are you okay? You look faint. Would you like me to get you a doctor?糖心传媒 糖心传媒淚 ate it.糖心传媒 糖心传媒淎te what? You really should drink some water and maybe get some sleep. You look as white as a糖心传媒斕切拇綕 糖心传媒淭he vomit football.糖心传媒 糖心传媒. . .糖心传媒 糖心传媒淚n the vision, I wiggled up like a worm and ate it.糖心传媒 糖心传媒淐haz, this is hardly the time.糖心传媒 糖心传媒淚 used my tongue to scoop it up and once it was in my throat it just dissolved糖心传媒斕切拇綕 糖心传媒淲e糖心传媒檙e just seconds away from the start of this round糖心传媒檚 match糖心传媒斕切拇綕 糖心传媒渁nd I felt a great calm.糖心传媒 糖心传媒溙切拇綌between the Bosnians and the Iranians for the chance to take on Honduras in the semi糖心传媒斕切拇綕 糖心传媒淚 was like a child again.糖心传媒 糖心传媒溙切拇綌finals, the chance of a lifetime to play for country糖心传媒斕切拇綕 糖心传媒淟ike a little boy hiding.糖心传媒 糖心传媒溙切拇綌people糖心传媒斕切拇綕 糖心传媒淟ike a little coward, ha ha!糖心传媒 糖心传媒溙切拇綌and literature.糖心传媒 糖心传媒淭here I was, a worm under a dog beneath a table inside a dream, munching on a football!糖心传媒 糖心传媒淎nd the match starts, with The Colonel taking possess糖心传媒斕切拇綔 糖心传媒淟et me just get down here on the ground and replay the scene. Would you kindly hold my pants?糖心传媒 糖心传媒淐haz, no!糖心传媒
Bosnia-Herzegovina: 1 糖心传媒 Iran: 0
PAY US.
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Hal Hlavinka recently moved from Chicago to New York to take over as the events coordinator at As a result, he sends out approximately 500 email announcements a day.
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