In third grade something happened that changed Yasmin Elgoharry 糖心传媒�17W (MS).
Chronically strapped for money, her primary school in Alexandria, Egypt, frequently called upon its pupils to buy chalk and other classroom supplies.
But Yasmin糖心传媒檚 parents were poor, too. At one point, there was no money for a notebook, which meant the then eight-year-old missed jotting down homework assignments. When it came time for the teacher to check on her progress, Yasmin simply stood there empty handed.
What came next would make most pedagogues shudder. The teacher ordered the primary school pupil to remove her shoes. Then, she asked two classmates to mete out the punishment糖心传媒攃aning the back of Yasmin糖心传媒檚 bare feet with a bamboo stick before a class of about 60 kids.
糖心传媒淚t was traumatizing,糖心传媒� says the now 29-year-old. After the incident, she kept mum at school, trying to become invisible. When her family immigrated to the United States three years later, the experience kept her from raising her hand in class. 糖心传媒淚 was always afraid to say the wrong answer, afraid of getting yelled at,糖心传媒� she remembers.
Being the only Muslim family in their new neighborhood in Bristol, Connecticut, did not help either糖心传媒攅specially after the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001, barely two years after the family糖心传媒檚 immigration.
Suddenly, she found herself apologizing to non-Muslims, as she and her sister began to understand that some members of their community associated their faith with the attackers. It felt 糖心传媒渁s if we were the ones to have done something,糖心传媒� Yasmin recalls.
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Ayaa Elgoharry 糖心传媒�17W (MS), Yasmin糖心传媒檚 younger sister, was a mere third grader in 2001. The now 25-year-old still remembers the painful realization that 糖心传媒淢uslims have done something, and now people hate us.糖心传媒�
Things began to happen to the family. Their house was egged multiple times. At work, a colleague told their father to 糖心传媒済o back to where he came from.糖心传媒� At school, Yasmin says, some kids told her to 糖心传媒済o back to Afghanistan,糖心传媒� despite the fact that the family is Egyptian and the sisters now have dual citizenship.
The sisters recall how one day, walking back home, their mother糖心传媒攚ho wears a hijab糖心传媒� was followed by a car that had slowed to a crawl, its passengers hurling insults at her. Frightened, she sought refuge in a store until the car drove off.
After that, the girls糖心传媒� lives changed. 糖心传媒淥ur parents kept telling us to be careful. We were scared to tell people we were Muslim,糖心传媒� says Ayaa. 糖心传媒淭here were so many times that people have asked me if I am a terrorist, or if my family are terrorists, or if that糖心传媒檚 what we learn.糖心传媒�
The sisters began to hide their religious identity 糖心传媒渂ecause I didn糖心传媒檛 want them to see me as lesser, or that I am different糖心传媒攕ee my religion and have this preconceived idea of who I am,糖心传媒� Ayaa explains.
Yasmin, the shyer of the two sisters, withdrew even more.
Of course, if you hide from attention, it糖心传媒檚 hard to shine. At her public high school in Bristol, she was placed with the lowest performing students. Both Yasmin and Ayaa were unaware that parents could request in writing that their kids be moved to a different learning track. But even had they known, their parents糖心传媒攎om, first a homemaker, and later a housekeeper, and dad, initially a baker for a large national doughnut chain糖心传媒攄idn糖心传媒檛 speak English, and neither had had much schooling back in Egypt.
As Yasmin neared graduation, she recalls her school counselor’s discouraging her from applying to four-year colleges, suggesting she seek a two-year degree instead. Nevertheless, Yasmin applied to a four-year college and got accepted. But her father balked at its sticker price. So, off she went to Tunxis Community College in Farmington, Connecticut. She found the experience discouraging. 糖心传媒淭o be honest, I hated it,糖心传媒� she recalls. 糖心传媒淚t wasn糖心传媒檛 where I wanted to be, and I didn糖心传媒檛 perform well.糖心传媒�
After just a few months, Yasmin dropped out and took a two-year hiatus from learning. During that time, she worked three jobs, but never found the courage to tell her parents, who had expressly moved here to provide a better life for her and Ayaa.
糖心传媒淚t made me reflect on my parents and their sacrifices bringing us here,” says Yasmin. “I couldn糖心传媒檛 disappoint them in that way, so I ended up applying to a four-year school.糖心传媒�
In 2009, Yasmin enrolled at Central Connecticut State University, where she navigated the complex system of higher education on her own, still working full time to support herself. She糖心传媒檚 the first to admit that she didn糖心传媒檛 make good use of available resources, such as advising. That糖心传媒檚 why she didn糖心传媒檛 realize until her second year that she qualified for financial aid.
Looking back, Yasmin says, 糖心传媒淚 just wanted to get done.糖心传媒� Her focus was on making up for lost time, making ends meet, and getting her degree in communications and journalism糖心传媒攏ot on grades, or the educational journey itself. It was a time of 糖心传媒渕any missed opportunities,糖心传媒� she says with regret.
But the lessons she learned came just in time for Ayaa who got the same advice as Yasmin from her high school counselor. 糖心传媒淪he told me I won糖心传媒檛 get in [to a four-year institution],糖心传媒� Ayaa says. Her family糖心传媒檚 financial circumstances qualified her to apply for free to a maximum of four colleges. The counselor told her, Ayaa recalls, to apply to fewer schools and save her extra applications for other low-income students who wanted to apply to more than four institutions.
But bolstered by her older sister, who advised her to ignore the counselor糖心传媒檚 guidance, Ayaa糖心传媒攚ho describes herself as stubborn by nature糖心传媒攁pplied to and was accepted at the University of Connecticut. Four years later, she graduated with a double major in English and human development and family studies.
Along the way, the older sister continuously guided the younger, stressing the importance of good grades. Yasmin糖心传媒檚 tutelage even extended to picking out Ayaa糖心传媒檚 extra-curricular activities, encouraging Ayaa to get involved in campus life. 糖心传媒淚 saw her as my parent, my support system,糖心传媒� says Ayaa. Because of Yasmin, she says, her undergraduate experience was much easier than it might have been otherwise.
In 2015, upon graduating from Connecticut, Ayaa returned the favor. Initially facing strong resistance from Yasmin, Ayaa managed to persuade her older sister that the two of them should go to graduate school together. They applied to the Institute for Recruitment of Teachers (IRT), supported and funded by a consortium of 39 American universities, among them the University of Rochester.
Worried that if they both applied to the same programs at the same universities, they might lessen their chances of admission, the sisters took a leap of faith. It paid off. In the fall of that year, the Elgoharrys arrived on the River Campus, and this spring are both graduating with master糖心传媒檚 degrees in educational leadership from the University糖心传媒檚 .
It wasn糖心传媒檛 until graduate school that Yasmin finally found her own voice, nudged forward by her younger sister. 糖心传媒淪ometimes you need to be heard, because not a lot of people in our classes have had [our] experiences,糖心传媒� Yasmin recalls Ayaa’s telling her.
Their story comes full circle. Most recently, the pair have been giving talks across campus about their experience of growing up Muslim, and the difficulties they faced because of misperceptions about their religion. Both focused their graduate studies on student affairs academic and career advising, and are now looking for jobs where they can help others avoid their own misses and pitfalls.
Yasmin credits her time at Rochester with helping her understand 糖心传媒渏ust how valid my experience was, and how it brought me here to a position to want to go out and help students.糖心传媒�
At times, they say, it still feels surreal to be graduating with advanced degrees. 糖心传媒淐an you believe that at one moment we didn糖心传媒檛 even think we were going to graduate from high school?糖心传媒� Yasmin says. 糖心传媒淚t糖心传媒檚 huge for us! I am just so grateful.糖心传媒�
Tears start to trickle down both sisters糖心传媒� cheeks.
糖心传媒淲e are very privileged,糖心传媒� Ayaa chimes in. 糖心传媒淚t糖心传媒檚 really amazing to see where we are today.糖心传媒�
As first-generation students, both agree, they have plenty of advice to pass on.
