In a world of seemingly endless opportunities for finding a mate, competition for a partner can be fierce. Not all that glitters is gold, as the old adage goes. If you糖心传媒檝e long suspected that people fudge the truth when it comes to presenting themselves to a potential partner, here糖心传媒檚 the research to back you up.
, published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, two researchers from the University of Rochester糖心传媒檚聽聽and the Israeli-based 聽conclude that when the possibility of sex looms, people are more likely to change their attitudes and engage in deceptive self-presentation. In other words, they conform, embellish, and sometimes lie.
The duo of , a social psychologist and associate professor of psychology at the IDC Herzliya, and , a professor of clinical and social sciences in psychology and Dean糖心传媒檚 Professor in Arts, Sciences & Engineering at the 糖心传媒, hypothesized that sexual thoughts糖心传媒攐r, in the researchers糖心传媒� more precise terms, the 糖心传媒攚ould increase a person糖心传媒檚 efforts to manage first impressions, bringing with it deceptive self-presentation.
Sex on the brain
What laypersons might describe as having sexual thoughts, researchers refer to more precisely as the activation of the sexual system or sexual priming. The phrase, Harry Reis explains, 糖心传媒�means getting people to think about things in a sexual way. Technically it means activating a certain set of concepts in the brain. So, the parts of the brain that represent sexuality are being activated. But that doesn糖心传媒檛 necessarily mean that people are getting genitally aroused.糖心传媒�
They tested that hypothesis on 634 students糖心传媒�328 female and 306 male糖心传媒攚ith an average age of nearly 25, all identifying as heterosexual. Over the course of four studies, the psychologists exposed one group to sexual stimuli and the control group to neutral stimuli. Study participants, all students at an Israeli university, then interacted with an opposite-sex stranger.
Study 1 asked two study participants at a time to solve a dilemma faced by a fictitious third person糖心传媒攚hether to accept a job offer abroad or to reject the offer to stay close to family and friends. Both participants were assigned one specific position糖心传媒攐ne for and one against the move abroad糖心传媒攖o argue in a face-to-face interaction. Afterwards, participants rated the extent to which they outwardly expressed agreement with the other participant糖心传媒檚 position during the interaction. Compared to participants in the control group (without prior sexual stimuli), participants who had been sexually primed were more likely to express agreement with a contrary opinion advocated by an opposite-sex participant. The researchers interpret this behavior as a strategy to make a favorable impression with the stranger, thereby increasing the likelihood of getting closer to this person.
Study 2 examined whether study participants would actually change their declared preferences to conform to a stranger糖心传媒檚 ideals. Participants were asked to complete a questionnaire that assessed their preferences in various life situations (such as 糖心传媒渢o what extent does it bother you to date someone who is messy?糖心传媒� or 糖心传媒渄o you like to cuddle after sex?糖心传媒�). Next, participants were subliminally exposed to either a sexual or a neutral picture prime.
Participants were then told they would be part of an online chat with another participant, who in reality was an insider糖心传媒攁n opposite-sex member of the research team. They looked at an online profile that purported to present the insider’s preferences on various subjects. After viewing the profile, participants were asked to create their own profile to be emailed to the other participant, and asked to complete their profile by rating the same items that had been presented in the insider’s profile.
The researchers found that even a non-conscious sexual stimulus (such as showing an erotic picture in a flash frame inside an otherwise neutral video) led participants to conform more to a potential partner’s preferences across various life situations.
糖心传媒淭he desire to impress a potential partner is particularly intense when it comes to preferences that are at the heart of establishing an intimate bond,糖心传媒� writes the team. 糖心传媒淪uch attitude changes might be viewed as a subtle exaggeration, or as a harmless move to impress or be closer to a potential partner.糖心传媒�
Studies 3 and 4 addressed whether participants would lie about the number of past sexual partners. The researchers hypothesized that people would reduce the actual number of partners so as to appear more selective糖心传媒攐r less promiscuous糖心传媒攖o a potential mate. To test the hypothesis, researchers had participants talk about the total number of sexual partners they had had during a chat with an attractive study insider. Then they were asked the same question in anonymous questionnaires to provide a true baseline for the researchers. The findings were clear: study participants who had been sexually primed were more likely to lie, reporting lower numbers of previous sexual partners to a potential mate compared to the group without sexual priming.
The researchers found that both men and women (all of whom were sexually primed) tended to decrease the reported number of past sexual partners when chatting with an attractive stranger. (By the way, around seven previous partners was the magic number that most people reported in their doctored answers).
Interpreting the findings
Interestingly, Birnbaum and Reis, who have collaborated for decades (Birnbaum was a post-doctoral fellow in psychology at Rochester in 1998糖心传媒�99) have slightly different takes on what the findings ultimately mean.
糖心传媒淧eople will do and say just about anything in order to make a connection with an attractive stranger,糖心传媒� says Birnbaum. 糖心传媒淲hen your sexual system is activated you are motivated to present yourself in the best light possible. That means you糖心传媒檒l tell a stranger things that make you look better than you really are.糖心传媒�
But, says , 糖心传媒渁 lot of it is not necessarily what you糖心传媒檇 call a bald-faced lie. Even though it糖心传媒檚 clearly not the truth, it糖心传媒檚 a way of people finding ways to emphasize different parts of how they see themselves.糖心传媒� And yet: 糖心传媒淚 think there糖心传媒檚 some degree to which it is finding ways to shade one糖心传媒檚 perception of the truth. It still counts as a lie, there糖心传媒檚 no question about that.糖心传媒�
This research was supported by the
For more on Reis and Birnbaum糖心传媒檚 research, also read their previous studies聽on how sex can help initiate a new romantic relationship, why uncertainty in a potential partner糖心传媒檚 romantic intent dampens interest, and watch
