{"id":14892,"date":"2023-11-22T21:31:32","date_gmt":"2023-11-22T21:31:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.rochester.edu\/mindful\/?page_id=14892"},"modified":"2026-08-05T13:16:44","modified_gmt":"2026-08-05T13:16:44","slug":"emotion-regulation","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/www.rochester.edu\/mindful\/emotion-regulation\/","title":{"rendered":"Emotion Regulation"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":52,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-14892","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"acf":{"lead_in":"","display_title":"","subtitle":"","call_to_action":"","hero_image_placement":"right_image","hero_media":"images","hero_pattern_option":"","hero_video":"","hero_image_landing":14902,"hero_image_landing_two":"","hero_image_landing_three":"","content_modules":[{"acf_fc_layout":"text","anchor":"","css_class":"","title":"","content":"If you are in need of urgent mental health care, please call\u00a0(585) 275-3113<\/a> to reach the University Counseling Center (open after-hours for emergencies). You call also 988 for the National Suicide Hotline or message Crisis Text Line: send HOME to 741741.<\/strong>","background_color":"#f4f4f4","width":"width-large"},{"acf_fc_layout":"text","anchor":"","css_class":"","title":"","content":"

What is it good for?<\/strong><\/h3>\r\n

Emotions and logic may be seen as contradictory; many believe that listening to our feelings, intuition, and inner voice will distract us from objectivity. Contrary to this myth, emotions are a source <\/em>of information<\/strong>. Fear tells us when we need to escape danger; anger tells us when to protect ourselves and others; guilt tells us to make amends for wrongdoing; etc. Feelings are an adaptive evolutionary trait, giving humans a roadmap to understanding ourselves, our needs, and the actions we can take to address those needs.<\/p>\r\n

Even though negative emotions serve a vital purpose, they often feel unpleasant. We may try to escape emotional pain in a variety of ways: substance use, risk-taking, and excessive scrolling on TikTok are just a few. Although it gives immediate relief to take our minds off what is upsetting us, these habits create emotional blocking<\/strong> in the long term.<\/p>\r\n

When we block emotions, we can\u2019t process them, and we react rather than respond<\/strong> to our feelings. This can lead to harmful behaviors, such as lashing out at others, self-isolating, over-eating, under-eating, self-harming, and more. Avoidance of emotions can also disrupt the ability to move forward from difficult events, causing intrusive thoughts, emotions, or dreams. Feeling unable to move on<\/strong> from our stressors will often disrupt our mental health and ability to meet our academic and vocational goals.<\/p>\r\n

With mindful emotion regulation skills and structured meditation practices, we can more quickly process our feelings, respond purposely to emotions, and avoid behaviors that are not in our best interest. Importantly, mindfulness and meditation practices can also help develop insight into ourselves, develop our spirituality, and build the life we want with intention. But how do we regulate emotions in the first place<\/strong>?<\/p>","background_color":"#ffffff","width":"width-large"},{"acf_fc_layout":"accordion_new","anchor_id":"","classes":"mt-0 pt-0","title":"","description":"","background":"plain","background_color":"#ffffff","style":"row_numbered","expand":"no","accordions":[{"acf_fc_layout":"accordion","accordion_title":"Bring non-judgmental awareness (mindfulness)","icon":"","row_content":"

The foundation of meditation is the ability to observe one\u2019s inner experience with self-compassion. This is key to regulating feelings in times of distress, as well as maintaining a daily meditation practice.<\/p>\r\n

First, pause<\/strong>. Emotions live in the body, not the mind, so notice your physical sensations<\/strong>. Is your energy low or high? Is your breathing slow or fast? Are your thoughts foggy and slow, racing, or clear? Bring awareness to any areas of tension, a racing heart, upset stomach, hot face, or sweaty palms. Observe any feelings of exhaustion, teary eyes, crying, or numbness. Accept <\/strong>these sensations rather than fighting against their existence.<\/p>","accordion_anchor":""},{"acf_fc_layout":"accordion","accordion_title":"Label emotions","icon":"","row_content":"

Now that you have recognized what is happening physiologically, give the experience a name, <\/strong>like guilt, anxiety, fear, anger, or sadness. If you struggle to label it, try the Emotion Wheel<\/a> as a guide.<\/p>","accordion_anchor":""},{"acf_fc_layout":"accordion","accordion_title":"Assess Window of Tolerance","icon":"","row_content":"

Notice when you are outside your window of tolerance<\/a>. When you\u2019re not in a state of clear thinking, or your emotions feel too intense to process, you are in too much distress to process your feelings at the present moment. Once you\u2019re in your window, you can begin to unpack the emotions.<\/p>\r\n

If you feel flooded, overwhelmed, unable to think, exhausted, numb, disconnected, foggy, or distant, you may be in a hypo-arousal <\/strong>state. Try different strategies to bring you back to your body and distract yourself. Try a cold shower, holding an ice cube, using aromatherapy, or engaging in exercise.<\/p>\r\n

If you feel a panic attack, heart racing, feeling the need to run, sweating, or difficulty taking a deep breath, you may be in a state of hyperarousal<\/strong>. Try calming and distracting strategies such as getting cold air on your face, using a heavy blanket, aromatherapy, or cuddling a pet.<\/p>\r\n

See more hypo- and hyper-arousal strategies<\/a>.<\/p>\r\n

If you can notice your emotions, think clearly, and not feel overwhelmed by the emotion, you are in your window of tolerance.<\/p>","accordion_anchor":""},{"acf_fc_layout":"accordion","accordion_title":"Investigate Emotions","icon":"","row_content":"

Once in your window of tolerance, investigate your emotions with gentle curiosity, utilizing any of the following practices:<\/p>\r\n\r\n

    \r\n \t
  1. Ask yourself silently: What is my current emotion? What factors might contribute to this feeling? What is my emotion asking for? How can I meet this need?<\/li>\r\n \t
  2. Listen to a RAIN meditation<\/a>, which also guides you through the process of recognizing, allowing, investigating, and nurturing your feelings.<\/li>\r\n \t
  3. Journal about the emotionally charged experience, your emotions, your physical sensations, thoughts that arise, and your urges (urge to drink, urge to shop, etc.).<\/li>\r\n \t
  4. Go on a silent walk, clean, do the dishes, or perform another manual task with no headphones. Listening to music, a podcast, or an audiobook can block thoughts from entering our awareness. Allow yourself to think through the situation without distraction. The physical nature of performing a task, going for a walk, or finishing a chore can facilitate this process.<\/li>\r\n \t
  5. Talk through the events, thoughts, and emotions with a loved one, licensed therapist, or spiritual advisor.<\/li>\r\n<\/ol>","accordion_anchor":""},{"acf_fc_layout":"accordion","accordion_title":"Nurture","icon":"","row_content":"

    Once you\u2019ve entered your window of tolerance, sat in your uncomfortable emotions, and processed your thoughts and feelings, it is normal to feel more tired than usual. Feeling your feelings and thinking through your thoughts, rather than blocking them out, is hard work.<\/p>\r\n

    Comfort yourself as you may soothe a small child<\/strong>. In what ways have you been comforted in the past? When do you feel most comforted or supported? It may be walking to a coffee shop as a small reward. It may be taking a hot bath with a good book. It may be watching a movie, wrapped up in a soft blanket. Consider what is soothing to you personally and take a well-deserved break.<\/p>","accordion_anchor":""},{"acf_fc_layout":"accordion","accordion_title":"Maintenance Phase","icon":"","row_content":"

    Mindfulness is a skill best learned through the structured practice of meditation\u2014think of mindfulness as similar to building up muscle. Picking up a couple of weights every few months is good, but you make far more progress with a regular strength routine you maintain throughout your life. By maintaining a meditation practice, you are more easily able to pick up the heavy weight of intense emotions with nonjudgmental awareness and curiosity.<\/p>","accordion_anchor":""}]},{"acf_fc_layout":"text","anchor":"","css_class":"","title":"

    Campus and Community Resources<\/strong><\/h3>","content":"
      \r\n \t
    1. Join a meditation class<\/strong><\/a>. The Mindful University Project offers them to students, staff, and faculty, completely free!<\/li>\r\n \t
    2. Start a yoga practice on campus<\/strong><\/a>. College students spend so much of the day sitting on computers that they often have little opportunity to engage in bodily awareness. Attend a free yoga class on-campus, offered at the Goergen Athletic Center.<\/li>\r\n \t
    3. Attend a half-day silent retreat<\/strong><\/a>, offered for free by the Mindful University Project each semester on campus. Learn a variety of different practices, including sound baths, mindful eating, yoga, and breath awareness.<\/li>\r\n \t
    4. Walk the Labyrinth at the Interfaith Chapel<\/strong><\/a>. Some find that walking the labyrinth helps them to focus on an issue or situation in their lives, leads them to reflection, or awakens a deep knowing within. Students, faculty, and staff have the opportunity to spend some time in the reflective quiet of the labyrinth.<\/li>\r\n \t
    5. Talk with a counselor<\/b>.\r\n
        \r\n \t
      1. Working with a licensed mental health professional can provide a safe environment to practice emotion regulation skills with individualized guidance. You can schedule an appointment at the University Counseling Center (UCC)<\/a><\/strong>, attend a UCC group that fits your specific needs<\/a>,<\/strong>\u00a0or f<\/a>ind an off-campus counselor<\/a><\/strong>.<\/li>\r\n \t
      2. Connect with the CARE Network<\/a>. The CARE staff is there to coordinate the best pathways of support for your unique situation.\u00a0Submit a referral<\/a>\u00a0to access support (for either yourself or someone else), or explore their\u00a0Resource Center<\/a>\u00a0to find what on-campus resource may be a good fit for you.\"<\/li>\r\n<\/ol>\r\n<\/li>\r\n<\/ol>","background_color":"#f4f4f4","width":"width-large"},{"acf_fc_layout":"text","anchor":"","css_class":"","title":"

        Self-Guided Practices<\/strong><\/h3>","content":"
          \r\n \t
        1. Journal regularly<\/strong>. Rather than simply recounting the events of the day, focus on writing your thoughts and feelings. This can provide focused time and energy to processing the day.<\/li>\r\n \t
        2. Use the How We Feel App<\/a><\/strong> to learn precise words to describe how you feel, spot trends and patterns, and practice simple strategies to regulate your emotions in healthy ways.<\/li>\r\n \t
        3. Meditate at home<\/strong>. You can use apps like the Sol App<\/a> (free premium access for URochester members), \u00a0HeadSpace<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0(discounted for students) and\u00a0Insight Timer<\/strong><\/a> (free). The Mindful University Project also has a library of peer-led meditations<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0to guide you through nonjudgmental observance of your focus, breath, and thoughts.<\/li>\r\n \t
        4. Progressive Muscle Relaxations <\/strong>and Guided Imagery <\/strong>are great tools for bodily awareness which can also lull you to sleep. Search on the apps mentioned above or on YouTube and Spotify.<\/li>\r\n \t
        5. Gratitude Practices<\/strong>. We are naturally wired to notice what\u2019s going \u201cwrong\u201d in life with a human trait called negativity bias<\/a>. It\u2019s evolved in humans so we can quickly avoid danger and survive adversity. However, this can also deprive us from recognizing the positive aspects of our lives. Try writing a gratitude letter<\/strong> for 20 minutes to a person you appreciate, without sending it. Alternatively, write a gratitude list<\/strong> of everything you are grateful for: from the more salient aspects of life, like loved ones and pets, to the subtle ones we often take for granted, like access to running water.<\/li>\r\n \t
        6. Walking practices<\/strong>. The back-and-forth motion of walking is a simple form of bilateral stimulation, activating and balancing the right and left halves of the brain. Bilateral stimulation facilitates memory processing (as evidenced by the success of EMDR therapy); moreover, exercise releases endorphins, which naturally help to alleviate stress and anxiety. Take regular walks that are either stimulus-free (no music or podcasts) or with gentle instrumental music to more easily process thoughts.<\/li>\r\n \t
        7. At-Home Yoga<\/strong>. You may prefer to keep your yoga practice private rather than attending a group session. Try YouTube videos of guided, beginner-friendly yoga sessions from channels such as Yoga with Adriene<\/a>, Jessamyn Stanley (The Underbelly)<\/a>, Diane Bondy<\/a>, and Faith Hunter<\/a>.<\/li>\r\n<\/ol>","background_color":"#ffffff","width":"width-large"},{"acf_fc_layout":"text","anchor":"","css_class":"","title":"

          Learn more about emotion regulation: <\/strong><\/h3>","content":"

          YouTube<\/strong><\/p>\r\n\r\n