There糖心传媒檚 something gratifying to digging in and unpeeling all the logical fallacies and pretzel-twist arguments that people make about sports on the regular. And because sports is both objective and communal in the sense of having actual games that have actual winners and losers, and open to subjective scrutiny about strategies untried, player motivation, and grit, hot takes will never go away. Which is fun! I love me a good hot-takedown.

I often wish that the book world had a few more of these hot take coots. Sure, there are media people offering up crap takes on Twitter all day, every day, but these rarely ascend to the level of verbosity and manic, laser-focused attack that you find on something like Hot Take. Imagine if there was a going off about the NY Times Bestseller list, or the new Grove catalog. How fun would that be? And how fun would it be to break apart that person糖心传媒檚 blistering attacks? Oh so very.

I should make it clear that I糖心传媒檓 really thinking about fiction here. And not just a scathing bad review糖心传媒攖hat糖心传媒檚 fine, that糖心传媒檚 something that might divide opinions, but rarely do these have the sort of unhinged quality of a really juicy hot take. The literary world is far too reasonable (which is shocking, when you pause to think about it) to provide a meaningful platform to someone claiming that Stephen King糖心传媒檚 latest shouldn糖心传媒檛 be sold in Barnes & Noble because he doesn糖心传媒檛 stand for the national anthem at Red Sox games. Or whatever. Something impassioned and nonsensical. But worthy of an 8-minute read on Medium. Something capturing the fire of the old Tanizaki vs. Akutagawa debates, but without that degree of learnedness.

Actually, the perfect example is Franzen糖心传媒檚 incredibly awful take on What a bunch of hot garbage! And what a great job Ben Marcus did of More of that, please!

by Jun糖心传媒檌chir艒 Tanizaki, translated from the Japanese by Phyllis I. Lyons (Columbia University Press)

For a few days, I played with the idea of trying to write a blistering hot take about Jun糖心传媒檌chir艒 Tanizaki糖心传媒檚 In Black and White, but I honestly don糖心传媒檛 have the right mix of delusion and talent to make that really work.

But, if I was going to write some half-cocked take, I would probably come out swinging:

In the history of publishing, how many times has the 迟谤补苍蝉濒补迟辞谤糖心传媒檚 afterword糖心传媒攜es, the 迟谤补苍蝉濒补迟辞谤糖心传媒檚糖心传媒攂een a far superior reading experience to the work of some ordained 糖心传媒渕aster糖心传媒� of literature? Once. One time only. With In Black and White by Jun糖心传媒檌chir艒 Tanizaki.

Here糖心传媒檚 the thing: As respected as Tanizaki might be for his other works, The Makioka Sisters, Some Prefer Nettles, Naomi, etc., this book has been overlooked for the past eighty years for a number of reasons. It was written on deadline for a newspaper, has a plot so thin you can read the jacket copy and skip the rest, and contains some of the most stilted dialogue this side of an episode of Riverdale.

What糖心传媒檚 black and white and read all over? Not this book!

Which is totally unfair! In Black and White is a fine book. It糖心传媒檚 fine. Sure, the plot is more interesting in summary than in execution, but still.

Actually, let糖心传媒檚 start there. I should probably offer a spoiler warning, but to be honest, if you read the description on you糖心传媒檝e already seen it all.

In Black and White is the story of the 糖心传媒渄iabolist糖心传媒� writer Mizuno, who, along with spending time at brothels and drinking too much, is commissioned to write a story for The People magazine. After turning it in late糖心传媒攍ike any good writer糖心传媒檚 writer worth his writerly nature糖心传媒攈e realizes that he slipped up and included the actual name of the man who he used as a model for one of his characters on a few occasions. No big deal, right? Well, in this case that糖心传媒檚 not so great, since Mizuno has written a story about how a man, much like Mizuno himself, pulls off the perfect murder and kills Cojima/Codama on a moonless night at the end of November. Given that Cojima糖心传媒檚 real life situation糖心传媒攚here he lives, his profession, his habits, etc.糖心传媒攊s so similar to the character who糖心传媒檚 murdered, Mizuno is paranoid that not only will Cojima recognize himself in the story, but that someone will acutally murder the real Cojima in the way described in the story, bringing Mizuno under suspicion.

Two interesting things about the rest of the novel: 1) As you would suspect, Cojima is murdered in the exact way depicted in the story and Mizuno, who, thanks to his time cavorting with a prostitute whose name and address he doesn糖心传媒檛 know, has no verifiable alibi, and 2) Mizuno (probably) writes a sequel to this story in which someone reads the original story and decides to take revenge on the author by committing the murder as written in order to frame the original writer.

You know what I call a plot like this? Lazy. Self-indulgent. Self-indulgent and lazy. A novel that posits a world in which a fiction writer糖心传媒檚 work is so important that a magazine lets its copyeditor rent a room in the writer糖心传媒檚 same boarding house so that he can ensure the writer actually finishes his oh, so important pages? FANTASYLAND! Bring on the satyrs, dragons, and Tom Brady Concussion Sauce, because we糖心传媒檝e just left the real world behind!

I have no idea what the writing life was like in Japan in the 1920s, but given that Tanizaki played a big role in it (he糖心传媒檚 considered to be one of the best Japanese writers of the past century), I糖心传媒檓 pretty sure he knows what he糖心传媒檚 talking about.

One of the most ludicrous aspects of this minor work is the number of times Mizuno refers to himself糖心传媒攐r is referred to糖心传媒攁s a 糖心传媒渄iabolist writer糖心传媒� or someone practicing 糖心传媒渄iabolism.糖心传媒� These terms are repeated fourteen times within five pages! It糖心传媒檚 just like when you repeat a word over and over until it becomes syllables and noise and the meaning dissolves. What does 糖心传媒渄iabolism糖心传媒� even mean? Is Mizuno worshipping the devil? No, there糖心传媒檚 no evidence of that. Sure, he drinks too much and wants to get with prostitutes, but that糖心传媒檚 dissolute or or debauched, but diabolic? And again, Tanizaki creates a world in which people gossip openly about this writer糖心传媒檚 diabolism. Even the cops! When they bring him into the station, they have a long philosophical conversation with Mizuno about his 糖心传媒渄iabolism糖心传媒� and the aesthetic principles behind his writing. Sound like any cops you know? Me neither. Here come the satyrs again . . .

OK. I don糖心传媒檛 really have a response to that one. The 糖心传媒渄iabolist糖心传媒� thing got to me a bit as well. It糖心传媒檚 funny, in our local translation workshop, every translator tries to avoid repetition like the plague. That糖心传媒檚 not always the right approach though, and sometimes using the same word or phrase over and over can accrue meaning (or become incredibly funny), especially if used correctly. So maybe Tanizaki糖心传媒檚 endless repetition of 糖心传媒渄iabolism糖心传媒� isn糖心传媒檛 the worst . . . I mean, it糖心传媒檚 not as distracting as the stiff dialogue or the strange misogynist stuff.

It would take a whole post to break down all of the odd stuff about women in this book, but here糖心传媒檚 one bit of dialogue between Mizuno and the woman he hires to be his mistress for a month (on Tuesdays and Fridays) when they糖心传媒檙e having lunch and finalizing their 糖心传媒渁rrangement糖心传媒�:

糖心传媒淓veryone says that, that my arms are great糖心传媒斕切拇綕

糖心传媒淭丑别测 are great! It糖心传媒檚 a pleasure just to swing them like this. I糖心传媒檇 like to make them into a toy and swing them forever.糖心传媒�

糖心传媒淚f you want, make me into a toy.糖心传媒�

Yeah, that糖心传媒檚 a bit weird. In a few different ways.

But let me reiterate糖心传媒攎y reaction to the actual novel was mostly just a shrug. It was fine. I had no problem at all putting this book down, and a lot of the dialogue糖心传媒攁nd the ideas expressed within糖心传媒攎ade me groan, but this wasn糖心传媒檛 awful. It just seemed a bit meh, a bit flat, a bit of a toss off . . . until I read the afterword.

Once you slog your way through 200+ pages of this tripe, this, I糖心传媒檒l say it again, self-indulgent book, that even includes a scene in which Mizuno invents a sex tale that he shares with his copyeditor, who he then catches masturbating to his memory of this tale, which, if you follow me here, is just a metaphor for how much jacking off Tanizaki is doing in this book, writing about his own writing and its power, if you get through that, you reach the end of the rainbow and find Phyllis Lyons糖心传媒檚 afterword that injects a much needed historical context and sense of balance into this off-kilter text.

This part of the book is brilliant! The reading she offers糖心传媒攊nvolving Tanizaki糖心传媒檚 arguments with Akutagawa about 糖心传媒減ure art,糖心传媒� 糖心传媒減lottedness,糖心传媒� and 糖心传媒渟tories with no story糖心传媒澨切拇綌imbues this book with a sense of purpose that it糖心传媒檚 otherwise lacking. Even if her reading in which she postulates that the 糖心传媒淪hadow Man糖心传媒� and Cojima are both stand-ins for Akutagawa, that Akutagawa traps Tanizaki by killing himself, shows a level of invention and attention to actual plot that that hack Tanizaki, yeah, I said it, hack, could糖心传媒檝e learned from.

Here糖心传媒檚 some advice for you, Columbia University Press: Cut the first two hundred and eighteen pages of this book and publish just the afterword. Boom. That糖心传媒檚 what I call maximizing profits. Economics 101, Mr. University Man.

Obviously, that糖心传媒檚 too far, but I do wish that there was a way to get at least some of this afterword before the book to help guide one糖心传媒檚 reading. No disrespect to Tanizaki, but the novel is a bit thin without the historical and personal context. And given that the plot is maybe the least compelling part of this reading experience, it would be useful to have some other tools in your mind before diving in. Reading Lyons糖心传媒檚 afterword was the first time I really sat up and engaged with this book.

That said, if you糖心传媒檙e a completist and a fan of Tanizaki糖心传媒檚 other works, you糖心传媒檒l likely enjoy this quite a bit. And it糖心传媒檚 a great example for translators of what you can add to a classic work to help it reach as wide and audience as possible. I know this isn糖心传媒檛 going to make any best-seller lists, but if someone were to use Lyons糖心传媒檚 afterword as the basis for an article about literary feuds, hot takes, contextual reading, and whatnot, it might really connect with those literary readers out there.